As much as I enjoy writing, my goal is to be published. I have no clue if I have what it takes inside of me to accomplish my dream but I’m trying. I’m also not having the best of times being a blogger. There is far too much I don’t understand. Some of my lack of understanding will eventually soak in but a larger percentage of it will not. I’m horrible with computers and technology. All I can really do adequately with the machine is type words, make them into sentences, and by stringing many sentences together I’m able to produce paragraphs. By duplicating this effort, I manage to twine together a story (a post). Adequate is an interesting word here. Is being adequate good enough, in my view or in your view, for becoming a published writer/author?
During my 6-weeks here in “Blogville,” I’ve visited hundreds of sites. Many of you have so much going on in your sites, my mind starts to overload. I have no idea what all this stuff is and no clue on where to find it. And I certainly don’t understand how to use it. I’m an excellent problem-solver in business, sports, relationships, and in most aspects of life. But to state this directly so there is no misunderstanding; I’m most certainly the village idiot with all this technology crap. What the heck is it, why do you have it, where do I find it, why do I need it, how do I incorporate it, and what results can I expect from having it?
By me using the term “it,” I’m referring to things like putting a Stumble button on my blog pages. How? Where does a person find this? I’ve looked and searched through the Stumble site and in WordPress on how to do this. I’ve gone to forums and tried learning how by clicking question and answer links. Nada! I see blogs with Facebook and Twitter share buttons. You have other colorful little logos called Digg, Buzz, and Reddit. I’m lost with it all. I read words that say, “Grab My Button” and wonder why should I grab this…what ever it is? Everyone is talking about gadgets, widgets, gidgets, and midget’s; what the “chuck-fluck” is it all? If I need this, how do I get those and how do I put those on my blog posts?
That being said, what’s very easy for most of you to perform is very confusing and difficult for me. I don’t like technology and I’m not impressed by it. Technology doesn’t enamor me and I’m not dazzled by all the unnecessary things people can do with it. But if there is something I need that will help me achieve my goal of becoming read, recognized, and published someday, I would like to know. I understand this stuff is not rocket science but I just don’t “get it.” You have to comprehend something here. From 2002-2010, I tried dozens of times to figure out how to change my email ID. What takes you 8-seconds took me 8-years! Finally I found it and I found out how by pure accident. Do you know how much wasted time is spent on my end trying to figure out all this crap? It’s too many hours to add.
I’m guessing that most of you would have issues hanging upside down by your legs wrapped around a 32nd floor balcony railing from a high-rise condominium in downtown Chicago. Maybe you fear heights or maybe you’re afraid you may get dizzy. Possibly you might be afraid you may fall and die. For me, I wanted to know if I could do it without fainting or getting dizzy. It’s an easy play for me in which is probably most difficult for you. I understand that. I never said it was smart or wise to do. It’s seriously not!
For you, it’s most likely you wouldn’t feel comfortable doing hand stands atop of a speeding vehicle rolling down the highway at 50 mph. I’m guessing this is difficult for you. It’s not a question for me in my mind and in the eyes of the 6-8 friends whom rolled with me back during the 30 times its been done. Perhaps you would feel uncomfortable playing Tarzan and jumping off a 2nd floor rooftop into a willow tree. Swinging from the long willow vines down to the ground may not be your cup of tea. You need to grasp the vines securely in the first place to cease the force of gravity pulling 180 pounds quickly to the earth. You probably wouldn’t like how the ground feels when your body slams the wind out of your lungs from the thumping to your back when the vines snap clean from the tree. Certainly you would not get up after the air inflated back into your lungs, and to do it again. For me, knowing that I didn’t grab a hold of the quantity of vines necessary to support free-falling weight successfully, assured me I had the proper recon to call it “game!” on the 2nd attempt. These things were easy for me to do but probably most difficult for many of you. These experiences may bog you down in thought and action. You may not want to do it either. For me, they occurred naturally without fear or without hesitation.
There is much more going on that is creating tremendous havoc with my blogging experience. These are technical in nature as well but will I prefer not to comment much on that ugly business at this time. All I will say about it is this: I know who you are and wish you would stop messing around with my technology. You’re not just affecting me you’re affecting the future of my children as well. I didn’t create any of the past miseries in your life so please stop jacking up my shit!
The events I mentioned above were more than 2 decades ago. I am a boring father today, an excellent human being, very settled and quiet by today’s nature. I am also an aspiring writer with experiences to talk about and believe there is a target audience who would like to hear about them. I also believe there are many people who enjoy laughing during a read. I’ve been attempting to fill both of those shoes to date.
Today, I am a bogged-down and technologically deprived fool. I DON’T GET IT! Some of you are thinking, “How can he not understand it?” I just don’t! Let’s put it this way. As someone told me recently, I must be an ADD dumb-founded boob or what ever it is. As simple and without thought all those buttons and widgets and gadgets are for y’all; these elements of being a more successful writer and blogger do not come naturally for me. RSS feed; “wtfructose” is that? I am so frustrated with wasting time trying to figure out how and why and where and for what reasons; I’m not writing about 1,000 real life experiences that most people would never dream of. Most people are not programmed for these types of adventures. I do get that one. Some are hilarious, some are scary, some are amazing, some are romantic, some are dangerous, and some are just crazy-wild! Some are not in within your wildest imaginations!
I can turn a simple visit to the supermarket into an event you will never forget; a situation where you will burst out in to total and uncontrollable laughter months and years later when you recalled the situation. With company or flying solo, images and words and scenes flash through my mind at lightning speed. What doesn’t shine in my mind at all is technology. Not one bit. The bottom line is this: SOS – HELP WANTED!
P.S. I was fortunate enough to have a fabulous conversation yesterday with a fellow blogger. This time, the person actually talked to me. Our conversation carried its course for a long period of time. This conversation could never have come about if that person didn’t read my blog words, my comments on other blogs, and my comments in various rooms. It wasn’t the common chat with me typing 50 words and receiving “lol” or “oic” in response. This person responded thoughtfully, intelligently, and combined wit and humor intertwined in the mix. This person also dedicated their time to our conversation. I didn’t wait 10 minutes for the common “lol” response. This person made our chat important in the moment and I’m grateful for that conversation. Very much so and I hope there will be more to come in the near future. In fact, my blog post above is the result of our conversation. Now before anyone gets their girdles or jock straps all in frenzy, some of us have also had nice volleys in chat. You know who you are so relax – put the rotten tomatoes down and chill!
P.S.S. The photos included in this post are from last evening construct of my sister’s 2nd raised vegetable garden. The insect base is in the surrounding brush. They were advised to leave me alone last night. I’m so glad they listened to me.
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