I Hate Winter


“I hate winter” is a statement uttered by folks around mid-western America. People, quit your bitching about the season. The trees, shrubbery, and surroundings get blanketed by white puffs of frozen, crystallized water. It’s beautiful outside and glistening snowfalls are amazing.

Children become excited about going sledding or building snowmen, and snow angels can be seen in many a back yard. What about blazing new trails by trudging over a fresh fall? Don’t you love-making snow forts stocked with piles of snow balls used for targeting passing cars and newspaper deliverers. I hate winter? Non-sense! All the activities mentioned above are snowy, wintry delights.Snowman

Like all seasons, winter can introduce burdens that we encounter. I get your misery. I too, have my issues with the fluffy white stuff, but I calmly deal with each dilemma as they arise. There is no “I hate winter” in my vocabulary.

For example, the other day I stumbled upon fresh footprints in the snow which lead to a painful discovery; whom was the last person to leave the outhouse, using up the final magazine page for cleanup?

The footprints looked like mine, but they were different. The stride was close together with an additional third round mark (like a pole would make) next to every other step.

“Grandmaaaaaa? Stop wearing my boots! And replace the dang magazines in the outhouse. It ain’t no fun “swabbin’-the-deck” with icicles!”

Do you think ice on everything outside is a reason people say “I hate winter?” I suppose winter ice can be a hassle for people. However, a funny sight is witnessing people when they wipe out on a slippery patch. Please, don’t get me wrong. I don’t enjoy seeing people injured via a fall. It’s the slip-n-slide (non-injury) types that have me giggling for days.

Have you seen this? A guy is walking and he suddenly loses his footing on the ice. His arms flap like uncontrollable tentacles without direction and his legs make a contorted, spastic effort to regain the balance he had only a moment earlier. The more he erratically distorts his body, violently making balance corrections in an attempt to escape the inevitable, the worse off he is at staying on his feet. The end is near and down he goes. I cannot help to laugh heartily at this sight.Wipeout

Of course, it’s not so funny when it happens to you…minding your own business…munching on a turkey leg with snot coagulating in the great valley between your snout and upper lip…when the ice takes your feet from beneath you, dumping your shivering butt on to the frozen parking lot. Gathering yourself off the ground, what’s missing?

“My bird appendage!”

Seconds later, you’re digging rescue tunnels with frost-bitten fingers, clawing in the snow plowed pile in search of your half-eaten turkey leg.

You’re like, “OMG, where is it?”

Witnesses: a pretty mother clutching on to her children, frantically escorting her kids into her vehicle.

“I hate winter. MUST.GET. AWAY. FROM. THIS. GUY!”

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  1. #1 by Dawn Sievers on January 21, 2014 - 7:03 pm

    There’s also the childhood delight of making snow cream! I wrote about this uniquely southern U.S. tradition a couple years ago on my blog and it has become my most visited, most requested article in my archives.

    Also, chewy candy from filling a cast iron skillet with snow, then setting it down into snow for about 15 minutes – just enough time to bring maple syrup or honey to a boil on the stove. Then carry boiling sweet sticky stuff outside to the cast iron skillet and drizzle the liquid into the snow in the skillet and watch it firm up. Leave long enough and it freezes solid into squiggly candy; leave for just a few minutes and twine and twirl around a fork or clean popsicle stick for a chewy, gooey treat.

    I haven’t lost any bird appendages (I fell out laughing at that one!) in the snow lately, but East TN doesn’t get snow like we did when I was a child (and I am not happy about this!). But I do love to get outside with my camera and walk in the fields and woods, snapping the fairy tale beauty that snow gives us. I’m still hoping we get at least one decent snow this winter – it’s been too many years since I was able to make snow cream! :)

    - Dawn

    P.S., since WP no longer lets me post w/ my Blogger identity, here’s my blog link: http://healingmorning.blogspot.com

    • #2 by charlie nitric on January 21, 2014 - 7:22 pm

      Hi Dawn -

      I’ve never heard of snow candies but they do sound pretty tasty. I also love to be outside during and after large snowfalls. Snow walking is a serene spectacle that I look forward to each year. :)

  2. #3 by Robert on January 21, 2014 - 7:29 pm

    This brings back happy memories of when I didn’t seem to feel the cold because we were having so much fun, thank you.

    • #4 by charlie nitric on January 21, 2014 - 7:39 pm

      Hi Robert -

      It’s sad when people grow up and forget all the little, simple things like messing around in the snow. I remember staying outside until I couldn’t feel my face and my pants were frozen stiff. I’d come inside to warm up, throw the clothes in the dryer, eat & drink hot chocolate, and head back outside for more as soon as my clothes were dried. I’m happy you enjoyed my post.

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