It’s Sunday morning, April 17, 2011, and my first full day of becoming an official blog-man! The birds are chirping, scattered clouds surfing underneath a beautiful light blue umbrella, and my butt seriously hurts. I joined wordpress.com yesterday!
Not known for being the sharpest nail in the pail when it comes to technology, I’ve always had tech barriers to overcome. I’ll master these wordpress and blogging skills before my subscription to “Liposuction Now” magazine expires in 2019.
I sat on my ginormous rhomboid for hours and hours yesterday working on my new blog site. This is very exciting for me because I love to write and I love to make people laugh. I do hope you laugh along with me 😛
So this morning, both of my galactic butt cheeks are marvelously molded flat like a blob of grandma’s lard left outside on her picnic table on a hot summer day. What’s confusing to me is this: are my well hidden and ill-defined buttock muscles aching, or is it the vast amount of butt blubber that hurts me now? Either way, it’s surely a shame that our Chicago blizzard on February 1 and 2 of this year, didn’t come at this time.
My glorious flat fanny would make a wonderful toboggan. Like sliding down the snow-covered ski hill on shiny 4′ x 8′ sheet metal, I’d be the envy of all the moms and dads and kiddies too. Whoosh! Mr. Magical Ass Mass would go faster than a comet blazing through the heavens. Imagine you have a tucked into the back of your panties. Well you can slide down the hill with me also! You see, gravity is not always a bad thing 😉
I’m just a bit slower than the average Chuck so it takes me more time than most people when it comes to technology. It doesn’t come naturally to me. I become flustered and anxiety can whisk me away into a hyper-driven frenzy of frustration. Relax Charlie. You’re not going to break wordpress so stop stressing it. End your pacing around bouncing basketballs of the walls, and quit opening up the refrigerator every 10-minutes (like my rubbery glutes need another doughnut, huh)! I will master it.
Have a nice Sunday and God Bless You 🙂
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