For 11 years I’ve been fighting my computer by myself and I can’t do this alone any longer. I need a wife ASAP! No civil relationship with me required. You can scream and curse at me whenever you like. It’s all good. I’ll never listen to you anyway.
I’m not looking for a Princess. I’m looking for a Queen, a true computer operator. Prove that you’re a trained and certified PC pro and come with me and live the dream! Review the lists below for guidance.
Qualifications (computer basics)…
1) (CI) computer immunization – Oh my, help me!
2) Down-loading software 1st try – Big turn-on here!
3) log-in and password memorization/recall – I’m getting hot!
4) work 2 windows/more simultaneously – OMG you savvy PC witch come marry me now!
FWB Include: I don’t care if…
1) …you don’t like me
2) …you don’t talk 2 me
3) …you don’t have teeth
4) …you’re stronger than me
5) …you pass gas in your sleep. I always do!
6) …you can cook, clean, or wash dishes. I never do!
7) …you eat more than me – impressive. I won’t go hungry!
8) …you brush your dandruff off at the dinner table. I never eat there!
Absolute Deal Breakers if…
1) you can grow a better mustache than me (male ego thing)
2) your strap has more than 3 cups (why? umm drawing a blank now)
3) you’re a Justin Bieber fan (my computer is too old for you)
I offer the most comprehensive FWB package in the industry including all my bank accounts, credit cards, and my private islands in the Caribbean. You get free medical, dental, 104k up to 50% of you’re your first $6,000 matches for your smokes.
A talented pop-up blocker (PUB) always catches my eye (hint). Do you have what it takes to be Mrs. Nitric XII? If your answer is, “OMG-OMG I do,” then come join me and be my Nightingale in cyber armor and turn my computer on. Really, I can’t remember my password. Turn the dang thing on for me. What else could a girl ask for so Apply Today!
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