6:25 am – I posted yesterday. Let’s see what the world has to say to me (so excited). Today’s Goal: I will write another historic blog and post it. I love goal-setting.
6:33 am – Huh? No comments? Stupid blog world! Everybody hates me.
6:39 am – I’ll be back. I have to go poops.
8:10 am – Sorry diary. I had to go to the bathroom. Sheesh…1.5 hours? Did I fall asleep?
8:14 am – Still no posts on my new blog. I’ll check out Facebook. Maybe somebody commented on my page.
WTH are all these farm animals doing here? I want to eat that lost lonely cow.
8:22 am – Did I remember to wipe?
8:25 am – I better open a blank MS Word document and start my new blog. What should I write about hmmmm? I know: “April 18, 2011” is a great start. There! Now what?
9:19 am – I wonder if anybody messaged me in Facebook? Oh this is seriously bothering me. Someone found a chicken on their farm. You are a lucky girl. Excuse me but this is not “Farm Central” social media website. NO ANIMALS ALLOWED!!!
9:27 am – Did I remember to flush?
9:45 am – OMG there are so many pretty girls here. Check out that one from Colombia. Wow! Oh no, she has a boyfriend. She’s not my type anyways.
10:00 am – No ideas for my blog yet. I’ll surf Facebook.
10:35 am – I just made breakfast (left over fried chicken). Mmm so finger-licking good.
10:52 am – Did I wash my hands after I went to the bathroom?
10:56 am – Did I take my OCD medicine today?
11:00 am – Now I can write on a full tummy. I don’t know why Facebook people hate me. I think the cute Latina’s boyfriend from Colombia’s looks gay.
1:10pm – This Facebook girl from Romania is so hot. I’m loving those legs (yeah baby)!
1:13 pm – OMG the girl is a guy! Why do people mess with me? Facebook is a scam.
2:45 pm – Back on track now. Ok, “Dear Diary” – What next? Farmers don’t love their animals. I wish a wild horse would go crazy on Facebook and trample a few farmers.
4:00 pm – Oh darn, I need to change clothes and get to the gym. Yikes look at that. I knew I forgot to flush.
5:30 pm – Had my shorts on backwards at the gym. I should have figured it out when I tried to put my phone in my pocket. My pocket was gone. How did I do that?
5:51 pm – Yes! I got a message in Facebook.
5:53 pm – Who the heck is Chewap Chewapo and why does he want me to go to war against the Mafia?
6:20 pm – I think Facebook users should take better care of their animals, especially if they own a farm. I mean, helloooo? It’s their business, duh!
7:01 pm – I should write about those poor farm animals in my new blog. I bet a lot of people will be interested in hearing about all the animal abuse that goes on here.
7:25 pm – I don’t even like Facebook animals. They certainly don’t look real to me.
8:30 pm – Is Latin America in Colombia or Brazil? Maybe they mean the south side of Chicago. Let’s Google that.
8:37 pm – Nobody talks to me on Facebook. Is my profile working right?
8:55 pm – I always mess up Google searches. I can’t read a word of Spanish but I do understand Victoria Secret page. I don’t know how I got here but that tiny outfit wouldn’t fit on my sister’s Barbie Doll.
9:59 pm – I bet Latin fathers are angry at Gloria. I hope she doesn’t live by George Lopez in LA.
10:15 pm – Hey, I could write a blog about Chewap Chewapo and his war against the mafia, the bad guys who operate Facebook farms for Gloria Secret. Note to myself: use George Lopez instead.
10:24 pm – I’ll write my new blog tomorrow but I have so many great ideas after all my research today. I can’t stop wondering what secret Gloria is hiding? She’s up to something. I just know it.
10:27 pm – What were those 2 women at the gym laughing about? Hah…Crazy females!
10:30 pm – Writing a blog today goal failed. Time for bed. Good night diary.
Midnight – Did I take my OCD medicine today?