Fellow Bloggers, You’re Starting to Piss Me Off!

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I’ve been reading truly amazing blogs you all have written. Nicely done everybody! After reviewing all your wonderful works of art, you’ve given me no choice but to be totally envious of how talented many of you truly are. Because of you weird, odd, and animal blogger types, I’m not going to write a funny and enlightening blog today. I’m pouting! And you can’t make me do it either. Thank you from the bottom of my heart; you’ve messed up my entire day!

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Tahira Lubrano, my ordeal started out with you. Why did you send me a fruit basket from Europe? Read My Lips: I don’t like mangos! Bribing me to visit your blog is no way for a lady blogger to gather support for her efforts. All you had to do is ask me nicely and I will gladly come post my vengeance on your pages. So what’s the big deal? You wrote a fabulous blog about a Cabbage Patch Adams guy and his compassion for people. Ok he’s a nice guy so don’t get such a big head over it. Gosh, you’re running around the streets of Northern Europe telling everyone to AskCherlock something. What should I ask him? I don’t know this character and I don’t believe that Sherlock Holmes is even a real guy. You’re a dreamer and ask too much of me. Wake up girl! Excellent post TJ! http://tjlubrano.blogspot.com/2011/05/compassion-for-others-compassion-for.html

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Alejandro Guzman, what’s your problem dude? Seriously, you’ve begged me for 3 weeks now to come and do your blog justice. “Wah-wah,” come support me. OMG “I’m melting-I’m melting,” you big cry baby. Get some medicated nasal spray and suck it up, man. You act like you’re in the Chernobyl zone or something. Next time you make an excellent runny nose post, you should provide free vaccinations at the door before we enter your booger site. Thanks to your flu-spreading ways, angry and now disease-ridden Chicagoans wish to tar-n-feather your arse so be warned; if you visit the Windy City in the near future, cover your huge snout. You’re a targeted blogger man! Al Capone is alive and well. I enjoy your post. http://raisingamelie.com.s97690.gridserver.com/?p=123

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Doug Stephens, you’ve got some nerve buddy. You lured me to your blog with the scent of cheese and crackers. You served no such thing and instead, you pull the switcheroo on me. I think you expect me to sit quietly while helpless chickens are abused and molested. Do you find men chasing chickens into the street a happy experience? I will not tolerate these atrocities towards animals, and dislike your con game in leading me there. “Ha ha,” so some people made funny funnies with stick figures. Although I love reading them all, I’m reporting your abuse to the authorities. We’ll send your Christmas card to the state penitentiary. Who’s laughing now? Love it Doug. http://iloveilikecheese.blogspot.com/2011/05/i-once-saw-chicken-crossing-road.html

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Pamela Rossow, how dare you! You write a beautiful prose post about your childhood magic, and allow me to share in similar memories from my childhood. Alright, I get it. You adore water. The happy times you spent as a girl hanging around your parent’s pool and pondering ocean side mysteries with magical day dreams. Well my memories are good too. Have you ever snuck up to a cop car when the officer is sitting inside it, down town and in front of the old post office? You may think your ocean side dreams are better than mine, but its fun being chased on foot by a chubby copper after bananas are shoved in his tail pipe. All you have to do is throw one at the car window to get his attention. You’ll be sprinting from him in no time. You have some nerve Pamela Anne. How dare you post a superbly written post about tanning on the beach at the ocean! You’re not playing fair and where’s the updated BIKINI PICS? Read the blog rule book please, and comply with the rules. This is a super read! http://pamanner.wordpress.com/2011/05/17/monday-memories/

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Sweepy Jean, why do I have to think when I come to your site? I’m already self-conscious after a frightful early morning stare in the mirror. I have my make-up to consider, style of dress for the day, and a boxer short order to perform online. If I visit you in the morning, you have no right to ask me for “2 word” prompts. I’m already on information over-load, my goodness stop making me think. This is a fun post. http://sweepyjean.wordpress.com/2011/05/18/1-plus-1-wed-21/

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Jessica Mokrzycki, how many times do I need to tell you that I need service when I come to your page? We’ve discussed this many times before after I read your amazing posts on faith, gratitude, and God’s will for us. Certainly God’s will for me is blessed. I agree 100%. No quarrels with you on that. However, I specifically had you incorporate in to my commenter contract that I need coffee and donuts as I read your spiritual insights. I heed your advice and you should comply with mine. You should be grateful I visit you so please remember my snacks next time! Always a must read here folks! http://ascendingthehills.blogspot.com/2011/05/gratitudes-greatest-gifts.html#comments

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And Mr. Larry Lewis, my gosh! Grow up will you? Spider and snakes, dogs and cats, lions and tigers and bears oh my! The dentist is your friend. He’ll be nice to you once you stop flirting around with his assistant. Leave your alloyed steel tooth pick at home where it belongs and be a man! I love the way you present your information. When Fear Bites | Healthy Lifestyles Living.

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Alpana Jaiswal, I know you are woman and I hear you roar. I also know you’re too much to ignore. That’s why I come to your site so for heaven’s sake lady, stop biting me. You’re an animal! She writes this profoundly magnificent post with her true heart and soul. MOTIFS ON THE WALL: I am a Woman

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Jessica Brant, you saucy sassy witch! You have writing talent and a sensual imagination. Thank you for providing me the incentive to complete a 32 set workout in under 30 minutes at my gym. All the dudes kept asking me what steroids I’m taking. I told them: “see J. Brant and bring an ice pack along. You’re going to need this, trust me.” Very creative work here! I’ll Be Damned!!!! | Finding One’s Way

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YogaSavy Savira, “I’m back-I’m back,” you screamed at me to come see what you did. As a loyal blogger, I listened to you. I’m starving now and you tease a man’s heart with food. Bad YogaSavy, so bad for a girl to do. A man has to eat you know. Next time provide me with a menu and take-out button, or I refuse to comment ever again. Great return post Yoga. My gastronomic adventures! | LIVE in the moment LAUGH always BREATHE with awareness

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Lastly, a few more of the many bloggers I’ve recently read in which each of you have contributed in destroying my creativity for this day, along with all the other traitors listed above, are: Mike Print and his support of authors who pollute the world’s great wildernesses’ post Book Review: ‘Cycling Home from Siberia’ by Rob Lilwall « Shibboleth And let’s not forget about how unsettling this guy can be Christopher Jennings Penders and his post Paraplegic Berkeley Student Walks « Wisdom and Life

Of course, there is feisty Laura J. Schmidt-Habischwith her contribution and dedication to the United Farmers Union efforts but no support for Illinois farmers, in http://throughmyinsanityandwhatelseisthere.blogspot.com/2011/05/imma-gonna-be-rich-and-grow-my-own.html. Then there is Corinne Rodrigues and Franca Reale, whom yell over white picket fences to their hubby’s loved ones and are compassionate for people who compete in conflict, in http://www.everydaygyaan.com/2011/05/method-mums-lessons-of-life.html. Oh and we have Nelieta Mishchenko; her trouncing around Asia with strange online men she meets but fails to allow us photos of these dragon types, bad on you Nelieta. Although you may be having fun, we have the right to rate your hoodlums accordingly. http://nelietatravellingadventures.blogspot.com/2011/05/evening-entertainment-by-hill-tribes-in.html

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In closing, I’m disappointed in the way that y’all are treating me. You’re not showing me the love, kindness, and respect that I signed up for. Please read your contracts again and assure me these dastardly deeds against me will not happen again. I’ve asked Louise Hastings – Short Stories « Wings across waters, and Mr. Bald Dude Charles Sadler and his cohort Mr. Stuart Nager – Leeches and the bald one | rantings of a bald man, and Rachel Hoyt in another poultry/froggie abuser post in Rhyme Me A Smile: The Toad in the Road;

to govern over this serious matter. You may forward your apologies to them and they will forward on to me after moderation. Remember: I take Visa, MasterCard, American Express, and title deeds. Kisses and hugs always welcome apologies (guys, hands off please unless you want to box, play football, hockey, wrestle, or just tumble-down the stairs for kicks – I’ll be doing a post on that one some day).

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Thank you for destroying my ability to write a post today through all your wonderful and excellent works of art. I salute you all via my grief – I love your work! 😉

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Bloggers Are Good People! In this post; Rachel Hoyt Stuart Nager  Charles Sadler Louise Hastings Nelieta Mishchenko Franca Reale Corinne Rodrigues Laura J. Schmidt-Habisch Christopher Jennings Penders Mike Print YogaSavy Savira Jessica Brant Alpana Jaiswal Larry Lewis Jessica Mokrzycki Sweepy Jean Pamela Rossow Doug Stephens Alejandro Guzman Tahira Lubrano

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